Joe Duffy

Poetic licence evoked!

So on Monday - Anne Marie Hourhane wrote an article in the Irish Times "A medical conspiracy against patients", she went on Joe Duffy. I wrote a letter to the IT editor in support of the article. I then rang Liveline and was waiting to go on air. Deflated by three I cursed Joe!

On Tuesday, Joe takes up the mantle once more, I ring in again, Yes your definitely going on, 3 came and went- I was even more deflated. I should have lost some weight at this stage.

On Weds, my chairman rings and says you are definitely going on today they just rang me, now on Weds Thurs and Friday I am working in my other job, so I start to feel itchy and scratchy, red blotches appear on my face and neck, I listen into Joe really quitely, wanting the phone to ring but praying it doesn't  By 3 I am exhausted, I curse Joe and Liveline and resolve to hunt him down in Clontarf - I know where he lives!

By Thursday, I decide I am not even listening to Joe, I will read the IT, I open up the letters page and there I am as bold as brass in black and white - I ring everyone I know proud as punch. So happy I have forgotten Joe, who needs him anyway!

I have just take a bite of my cardboard sandwich in a very late lunch when the mobile goes, I half recognise the number and decide to answer it, I choke on the cardboard as the voice at the other end says "Joe is ready for you now", I panic, where will I go, I can hear Joe in conversation with two women, I decide to leave the office and head in the direction of the bathroom, spying the stairwell I head there, my phone starts beeping, someone else is trying to call me, then it whistles as the message jumps in, at this stage I am red, flushed like a tomato hiding under the stairs. I see the girl who thinks she is my boss, she is on the look out for me, I stay hidden under the stairwell but then I hear whistling and the lights go out, the bloomin porter is doing a fire check, god almighty is nowhere safe to speak to Joe. The he calls me in on the show, I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Yes Joe, No Joe, three bags full Joe, I can't hear myself think, I love Joe now, he is so nice to me, now I am happy to listen I forget I am supposed to talk,  then its all over. Breathe  big tomato or someone is going to be picking you up. I run back to the office where my self appointed supervisor jumps through the door, shouting you were on Joe Duffy, I look at her and say "was I really, God I didn't know", I laugh to break the awkwardness and ask is this a firing offence, she smiles and says not quite, God what do you have to do around here to get noticed I think.