Red is the colour

In the deepest of the night

When no one stirs and there’s no sight

I’ll fill the air with all my might

And they will all feel my plight

The ground will turn and colour stain

And I’ll be sure to call its name

As colours change from white to red

On the floor, around the bed

And then when last I fall asleep

None will stir and none will weep.

H.F. Dunne

Love is where the heart is

Love is where the heart is

Where it comes from I don’t know,

I hear the sounds and painful blows

I can’t stop the tirade no matter what

I don’t understand why it can’t stop

I want to sleep and wake up high

Where I can look down and see the sky

The love I feel is not enough

To stem the pain and form a trust

To leave this place I know is fine

To start anew it can be mine

The love I feel can’t be replaced

But I have no value to the human race

Let me go to sleep and save my face

Let me go to sleep and find my place

I need the sweetness of loves embrace

Where I can’t hurt anyone with my disgrace

Please let me go to save their grace

And know that I am in a happy place

I love thee dearly, I leave my embrace

Just let me go to a humane place

Goodbye my angels and loving soul

You know that I can’t stay on hold

You are my life and love you most

But life will be better without this host

As time and years pass by so sweet

Remember that I was an occasional treat

Love me just once in a while

As you are always and forever mine

HF Dunne

Why do we doubt ourselves?

What is it about certain people and I include myself in this observation that makes us second guess ourselves all the time. For a long time I thought it was a lack of confidence, but I don’t believe that to be true now, so what is it? Could it be that self believe is the problem. For years I have written reports, research papers, and other formal pieces of work. I have definite views on things and have never shied away from discussing them in informal settings but yet when it comes to a formal setting where I feel I may be judged for my views on a professional level, I refrain. It’s not that I worry what people will think about me, it has more to do with the fact that I was always representing an organisation and I did not want to do it harm by voicing an uncomfortable thought or viewpoint. I now realise that this has extended to all I do and now I seem to be living my life second guessing myself and my views, especially if I meet others who are very strong minded or blinded to other possibilities. Now after what I feel are years of conforming,  I want to break free but find I now can’t seem to find the words or the eloquence I once has – so what is one to do? For a while I have been writing this blog and yet would not advertise it to anyone for fear they might read my rambling thoughts. I now feel I need to take control over my life and thoughts and views and stop doubting myself. So instead of reading and re-reading and then getting at least two others to read (seems crazy when I write this) to check my work I am now simply going to post. So if you are like me and prone to personal self-doubt I challenge you to do the same, pick one thing in your life that you like to do and stop second guessing the consequences and just enjoy it. Let me know how you get on.