It’s a very Irish May day today, sitting here at the kitchen
table I am looking out onto a lusciously green back garden, the apple trees are
starting to bloom along the wall and for the first time I think we might get a
decent amount of apples. The rain is so soft you can barely see it and every
now and then it reminds me of a learner driver, stopping and starting. It’s
Sunday morning and everyone else is asleep and this is my first day up since
Wednesday when I collapsed through the hall door and went straight to bed. Yet
again I had a viral infection, they seem to last longer and take their toll on
me more each time, but what is really stressing me is the frequency of their
untimely arrival. Viruses obviously have no appreciation of a mother’s life,
and certainly not this mother’s life, it has truly left me in a bit of a pickle
this time. Here I am trying to hold down my two jobs and still try to retain
some semblance of a good mother and an inkling of a decent daughter, I can forget
about the wife bit for now because that really has to stay paused, only
allowing a slight trick forward every now and then when I have time to think. The
last few weeks have been slightly manic but that seems to be every last few
weeks, surely the end must be in sight. Anyway back to the virus, it came uninvited
into our home, intruder alert should have sounded at the door, but no, it crept
quietly hidden, first it said hello again to my daughter, who was already
feeling a bit under the weather, then it crept to my youngest son, it hopped
over to me while minding him while his fever broke, but I never saw it coming.
I left for work on Tuesday feeling sore and tired, by Wednesday lunchtime I was
shivering and needed to lie down in work. Now alarm bells should have started
to ring out but no I only heard a brief chime and kept going. So what did my
friend virus do, it took a sledge hammer to my mind, body and dare I say it
soul and said “you’re not going anywhere”. By Thursday, in the very early hours
I knew I mistaken the depths virus would go to, oh no, not for me the 24 hour
or even 48 hour virus that the children had, no it had held firm for me and was
going to make sure I lay down, and took appropriate notice. First it increased
my temperature till my body could barely stick the heat, and then just as you
think sure pretend you are in Spain on a very sunny day, it goes artic on you,
two duvets later when you just fall asleep from shaking yourself blind to heat
your body, it decides to give you a taste of the Caribbean Sun and you can’t
seem to get those duvets off now. Eventually, it peters out and you think great
we are moving forward, but no, then comes the throat, swallow what’s that, it
must be the bird you are talking about because there is no way of swallowing
here, but now I think I have you virus, no swallow = no food, no food = lose
weight, hah, I found something I like about you now virus, but then you realise
you are thirsty and virus wins the round. Now if all this is not enough, my
sweet eldest decides to hurt his toe, he has a match and we try to bandage the
toe and send him on his merry way. I really don’t feel well and can’t think
straight, all I want is to go back to bed. Now I seek the advice of two lovely
men and bought feel the toe is strained. The daddy says he can play but bandage
the toe, so I try. Three socks and lots of screaming later I give up and decide
both of us need to go to bed. I look at my son and get that cold feeling that
virus is going to be making him a visit soon. By Saturday, I manage to get up a
bit, after all I have three children to care for and they still need to be fed.
To my lack of real surprise I find my eldest in pain, virus came froze him,
scorched him and left him like a fossilised fish on a stony beach, his lips
full of ugly crustations, flesh raw from the heat and body drained of all
fluid. I ask him how his toe is and if he can walk, he has not the energy to
get up. I drop the others off to the cinema and bring back a diet coke from McD’s,
hoping he will be encouraged to drink it. He is tired, sick and sore. He
eventually sleeps again. When I collect the others I pick up a milkshake, other
than a bottle of water this is all he can cope with. Today is Sunday, he is
starting to bounce back and yet here I am, I can still feel virus sliding up my
back like the feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand to
attention. My throat and head all still ache, I know by the time I finish this,
virus my old friend will force me back into bed for a few hours, hopefully the
children will stay asleep a bit longer. The fact that virus is coming to my door
so often now is worrying me, I don’t do sick well, I know the key is rest and
slowing down so that you can give the body enough time to recuperate but I hate
that. The problem is that I think that the virus is going to win this round, I
don’t have the energy to get dressed and do a full day’s work and then come
home and be mam, and if I am honest I don’t have the energy to be mam let along
work. One day I am going to get the virus
and before it ever gets a chance to even darken the door, it’s out, until then
I think I will surrender the laptop and the view and head back to the sanctuary
of the bed where virus and I can find a mutually agreeable location.
